Too Young to Remember? Understanding Implicit Memory

Posted: October 8, 2019

Have you ever heard someone say, “Don’t worry, they’re too young—they won’t remember”? Maybe you’ve even thought or said it yourself.

It’s a common belief, but here’s the truth—what happens in the early years does leave an imprint, even if your child doesn’t have a clear memory of it later on. Thanks to what we now know from brain research, we understand that babies and toddlers do remember—just in a different way than we might think.

Let me explain.

The memories we’re most familiar with—like remembering your last birthday party—are called explicit memories. But before kids develop the ability to store those kinds of memories (usually after age 2 or 3), their brains are building implicit memories. These are the body-based memories that don’t require words or conscious thought. In fact, implicit memories start forming even before birth, while your child is still in the womb.

This means that even though your child may not remember being a baby or toddler, their body and nervous system do carry those early experiences with them. Research shows that early stress, like high levels of stress hormones during pregnancy, can sometimes impact how children feel and behave later in life—even in ways that show up when they start school.

But here’s the good news: Even if your child has gone through hard things they don’t remember, healing is always possible.

That’s why therapies like play therapy, art therapy, EMDR, and somatic (body-based) therapies are so powerful. These approaches help children process and heal without needing to put everything into words—because sometimes their feelings live in their body, not their memory.

If you’re wondering how early experiences might be showing up for your child, or if you’d like to talk with a therapist about something your family is facing, we’d love to help.